Badger Rave

Thanks to

jagash

 
First the original

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

Now the new one

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/badgertrance


Crazy!

Amusing

Taken from

missjinny

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas, kris_ether sent to me...

Twelve vampires drumming

Eleven metaphysics piping

Ten cronos a-leaping

Nine chaos dancing

Eight eris a-milking

Seven narcotics a-writing

Six drugs a-programming

Five gu-u-u-uiness

Four zeppelins

Three martial arts

Two quantum mechanics

...and a spiderman in a whisky.

Get your own Twelve Days:

A painting by any other name...

    OK so not updated in a while since my last little rant. So how are things?
    Well its been a week since I last wrote anything down and since then my mind feels somewhat at peace. A number of demons have met final death and things seem on the up. Obviously the random acts of insanity that is

binhead

 have help ease my mind. Basically not much happened during the last week except the usual fun of coding and so forth. In fact so bland was the week that thank god for Friday and a good bit of drinking and conversation with the ever ready and great

trashkitty

,

phuturatica

 and rosie and lee. Starting at the Bank and then onto the Big G(C), and there finding an old work mate from my days (tenure/tour of duty/sentance) at GW. All was good. It was nice to finallyhave my brain melt after that days lit presentation.
   

Well of course the next day I went into work for a bit and proceeded to do some xmas shopping. 75% complete in just one hour. Excellent. However Hotel Chocolat was off limits, simply because it was hell and filled with morons who really wouldn't be able to appreciate the stuff.

    Bloody Idiots.

    After all this I called Vic to see if it was still possible to meet her today and get it all out the way. So heading to the Crown and Anchor I arrived and sat and drank and chatted to her and her parents. Yes her parents were there but fortunately I totally respect them and so it was actually quite good that they were there. And so it was during all that conversation that of course the subject of 'what are you doing now' came up. It was funny when I was asked if I had exams coming up. 'Oh god no' was the simple reply. But it was as I went through all the various things I have been up to/doing, and then conversing with Vic some more with regard to how she was (once her parents had made a move) that I just had to think 'My god my life is quite chaotic and great'. It when you see where you could of ended up that you really appreciate the things you do and the friends you have.

    Though I do now feel quite sorry for my ex. Stuck in job she hates, the worries of money and if her other half can keep his job, whether their house mate will sort out his own issues, and of course the fact that she now has no chance to have a real social life. And then of course there was the expected 'I'm glad I can still talk to you even though it has taken a long time to get to this point.' Fair enough, but the entire separation of our paths was my concious descision and one I am always thankful for. I mean it's allowed me to explore a lot. Then came the next, just as expected 'What do you want for xmas?' However, rightly or wrongly, I really don't care if she does or doesn't get me anything. Though what with all her other problems I told, no ordered, her not to worry about such a triviality, and that I rather she just took care of herself first.

    So we left the pub and made the way to my bus stop, chatting about various things, thouh really it was me talking my typical madness and so forth. And then shocker, after I explained the wonderful night of Barnamint Baileys round at

cyberai_dan

's that I brought up the subject of another cocktail bar, she said she'd like to take me out to it for my birthday. Partly this is because she knows I really won't invite her out to where I usually hang simply because she really wouldn't be too comfortable with everyone else, and of course I'd rather not have her bloke (ex good friend) around. So that was that. Goodbye. A hug, which was somewhat strange as i'm not really the touchy feely type fuzzle. Though as I say some demons have been laid to rest and a certain confidence has, not returned, no more like a part that has grown since all that has just been reinforced.

    So Saturday night was Sin. First a trek over to

cyberai_dan

and

trashkitty

's place, where

biomechanina

 and dan's mates Nick and (I forget her name already) were hanging out. A few glasses of wine and we were off to what turne out quite a good night out at Sin, the music being somewhat better this week, and I was certainly in the mood for a good stomp.

    Sunday. Well 2 hours o daylight seen and mainly writing.

    Today. Another damn good day. 3 hours of demonstrating, the last for the semester, and I was told the best thing ever of one fo the first years. Oh first some were disappointed at me not having bleached my hair yet. Hehe. No what they said, I was asking how they were finding the course and if they liked any particular part of chemistry, was that they hadn't really learn't anything in lectures but felt they had learnt more off me when we do the mini interiews during the marking of their work. Wow! Well I bid them goodbye as I finished my shift though told them they could always email me if they need help on their course. Oh and that I might see them in the pub on friday. I hope they do drink at Harry's Bar. They should of learnt that by know.

    After all that I stormed off into town to meet up with

trashkitty

 and

biomechanina

 to see how they were and if the dear had done ok with her coursework. See I'm not really heartless bastard. XD. Well the rest of the day was catching up with Mike on what we are doing over x mas with the force field and the new code I have written, and reading some lit reviews for my students.

    Well I'm off to role play now with the binsraad. Hope you had fun tuning in. Like any of you read this steaming pile of digital garbage!!!????

    Anyway have fun where ever you are.

    Oh and do random acts of insanity..... it'll make you feel better.


 Edit: picture

Perked up today

So today I'm some what better, and it's been a bit of an easy day. Started out this morning in labs demonstrating, running a workshop on some concepts with regards to the visible spectra emission of elements, and how it shows quantisation. In addition the students got to perform the experiments analogous to the same ones run by Neils Bohr right here at Manchester, back in the day of UMIST. There was lots of mathematical manipulation of formulas, and a number fo the first years found it difficult but persisted accompanied  by my perverse enthusiasm for the subject. Though were highlights of some students getting to grips with all of it with ease.

Felt somewhat fullfilled.

Later I had a meeting with Ria and Majeed, Ria being the third year student that I and Majeed are supervising. It seems like she is grasping the concepts in our research quickly, maybe not the maths but then that will come with time. All in all quite enjoyable and it's bits like this, when you can see a student comprehending just how cool and ground breaking the research is, that make my PhD ever more satisfying.

Finished of the validation of the morphy code, and so far everything looks fine. Plus I've got roleplay tonight as usual, so I have another chance to chill out.

Though it was one of those days when I walking about and just kind of in awe. firstly watching new students making their first true leaps into science and what it all means, then later more of the same but on another level where the student was learning that a lot of concepts taken for granted in chemistry are false. That and listening to so much Void Construct has just served to lighten my mood and allow me to just marvel at the mathematics of the science I am doing.

I did get asked at the house party by

neuromantix

 if science had too much faith in all its formula and theorums and methods and was just as much like numerology.

I of course arguedhow far in certain respects science was from numerology, but in others was in danger to being just as dogmatic. I of course pulled out the old Platonic reality argument among others and the discussion drew on.

Though there are times when you are writing code that simulates molecules that you sit back and have to just look at the world and go wow. This of course was all emphasised by a certain article on the beeb today. Plus I also had a nice discussion with an organic PhD student who was also demonstrating, all about the golden spiral and chaos theory and so forth.

So it seems I'm on the up again.


Now of course in typical fashion picture time.

Pale Canvas

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.

- Aristotle

So the weekend is over, and today I've not done much other than sit in front of this laptop and play Dune and web surf. So what more is there to do but do an update?

So where to begin? I quess we can start with Friday. Having had a long day at work trying to validate some programs and doing some coding for the force field to determine chirality (coding done by hand... yes I am insane and quite mad), I met up with

biomechanina

at GC, and then soon after Oz,

cyberai_dan

and his mate from the beeb, and also

phuturatica

. We went to see Pan's Labyrinth, which was ace to see a second time have more of a chance to take in all the subtitles and the fine details.

After we bumped into

missjinny

,

vonheath

and their friend in the Corner House bar and then headed onto GC where more turned up in the form of

currytastegrit

,

urwen_sakurafu

and their mate Taylor (aka Captian Jack). After a lot of drinking and random conversation headed back to Dan's to watch Miami Vice (well only a bit as I headed home to ensure I got up the next day to go to do some more work). Though I really wasn;t following the plot of Miami Vice. Plus I was cast as some weirdo for sniffing Stacey's hair. Why the hell would I do that. I think I'll get my revenge on Cassie when she's a better recovered.

Ok so the next day was work, and then meeting up with

trashkitty

to go to the x mas markets where we detoured to Harvey Nicks where our virtual bank account got broken by a £1000 coat.

Of course I had some mulled wine and picked up some nice sloe gin for later.

As for the party it was pretty good. Lots of gin, wine, a bit of puff, and of course the random assortment of conversation. Half of the hosts crashed out early on really leaving myself,

neuromantix

and

phuturatica

 to see in the next day.

So today has been quite lazy and quite low. It's hard to say why I feel like a shell of myself but I think I know.

Yesterday I got a text of my ex Vic, the one who I spent a good near 3 years with through most of uni. She apparently has an interview with Astra Zeneca. I can bet it's still just lab monkey type work. testing the safety etc of products. But the thing is I have feeling why in my gut I feel quite low today.

See for the best part of 3 years I made a lot of compromises during my time with her, such as not doing a year in industry, helping her through her own course, sorting out houses and bills. I never felt I got much thank for it all, or any respect for it. It was near the end of that she often got annoyed over that summer for me not doing much work, as in going out and working over the summer, while she had to go off to her full time job she hated. Of course I was of the mind that if only she could wait a little and understand then I would be in the position to support while doing what I enjoy. I was ready to give that much.

Things are much different now. I no longer live like and undergrad and I'm in the position to get published in academia, fiction, I enjoy teaching and also learning to code. This plus everthing else in the last year has been great. When I spit with Vic I also broke all ties with all the friends linked with that relationship as it was so ingrained with our work and social life that I often found it difficult to find that division between the two.What was mine and wahts was me. And the last 2 years has been quite a bit of a journey of rediscovery, and realising I now have more friends than before, all very different circles, well some more similar than you would realise.

I guess that thing that is funny is that this text from her was her wanting to meet up with me. Now I have done this once before a few months back. I guess the thing that is weird is that after all that happened ( and that relationship didn't end in the best of ways and I said many a cruel thing), that she still wants to be somehow within my life. I find that difficult to swallow.

But then I never considered myself one of the type of friends that people try to hang onto. I never considered myself that highly really. There is all the pomp and bravo of recent, but that stems just from how exciting each week can be. Beyond the surface I don't consider myself that much more. In comparison to others I see myself quite happily geeky and twisted, though really not much more. Though certaintly not something worth hanging onto.

But then thats the paradox of how one views their self compared to how others view them.

So what am i getting at here? The same old story for everyone i guess. I learnt to look out for my self and not be so naive, but when I have had all the chances of the things I get to do know it would be nice to find someone close with who can share in all that. I mean I am truely grateful for all the friends I have, many of whom I have only really got to know in the last year, and for that I am grateful, but when you have a diverse groups of friends that tie to a certain facet of yourself, the sad thing is not able find someone that can appreciate a bit more of that.

Call it catharsis, or narcissistic, but this it what it boils down too.


I think thats enough of that. Thanks is where thanks is due.

Ok it now picture time

I guess that leaves me to say good night and that I'm sure I'll see you in the week at some point.

Cynic

You Are 52% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

How Cynical Are You?

Monk ehhhh?