Thursday 8 May 2008

Sometimes when things break you find that when they are put back together it's better than before

So it's been just over a week since my last post. You of course are all aware from mine and 's posts about the problems we've had these last few weeks. But I think I can say the worst is behind us now. If anything things are stronger than ever.

It's been a tough time for both of us, and it's hurt and caused more than enough tears. I know it won't be 'perfect' for a while yet but it's the burden I have to carry for my mistake.

But in a way, just as Tyler Durden would say, it's only when you have lost everything, that you are free to do anything. Or in our case, we almost lost each other but now are closer than before.

Life as a couple in the flat (which is awesome by the way, if still filled with unpacked boxes while we wait to get some bookcases) is falling into a nice, I wouldn't say routine, but rhythm. Having a kitchen that has space and is clean is wonderful as I can now really pull out the stops and cook for , experiment with new recipes and not feel like food is getting wasted as it gets lost in the hell of a shared fridge. The atmosphere of the flat is open and serene, a good place to sit and write and read with the only distraction being each other. And of course the balcony is just perfect for this type of weather.

Money is a bit tight right now as I await to cash one deposit, get another owed by , and from forking out for oddments for the flat, but at the end of the day the peace of mind and just being with her there is worth it a thousand times over. The fact I can just get up and sit with her in the mornings to have breakfast and leisurely walk to work is such a luxury that I just never knew of.

Not sure when any sort of house warming will be soon but just give us the time and I'm sure there'll be one, and if either of us has seemed a bit distant then just know that we're just taking our time and attending to more important matters. What was in the past now just needs to bulldozed over with some new things. Something which is happening everyday.